Guess who got a ticket

Guess who got a ticket.????

No it wasn’t Will, it was Me…Me…..ME!!!!

 I know, I cant believe it either.  Now I admit I could have been day dreaming, thinking about my high school having to get rid of its mascot because it is offensive to Indians. The Lebanon Warriors. 

 I like to think things out and take them to their obvious illogical conclusion.

 Will we have to change names like   Milwaukee, which is Algonquian and means ‘a good place’.  Massachusetts, from the Massachusett tribe, which means ‘a great hill’.

What about The Rebals or The Pirate’s? Do we really want our kids trying to live up to the values of a pirate.

I wonder how much it cost Lake Tahoe to keep the name Squaw Valley.  How long is it before the ASPCA tells us we cant have mascots like, The Bull Dogs, doesn’t that give the perception that Bull Dogs are viscous. Did Los Angles get permission from God to be called the City of Angles?  Did Saint Francis give a nod of approval to San Francisco.  What about Hawaii State University, they are the Warriors. 

Or I could have been thinking about the new suggested law that says truck drivers can not use “hands free communication devices”.  Now I understand the reason behind not texting while you drive.  

 Believe me I know because it is much harder to text and drive with my new phone.  

 But the reason behind wanting to ban hands free is because law makers a saying you are still distracted while talking on your blue tooth.  Well then, they should also put a muzzle on all your passengers in case you are tempted to have a conversation. They should take away the radio so your not tempted to sing. Don’t forget eating while driving. It takes one hand to eat so both your hands are not on the wheel, and don’t you always glance down to make sure you are aiming your cup towards the cup holder.  Take out all the GPS’s I know you look at the screen to make sure you are taking the correct exit.
And Dont Think of what is going on at home.  Dont think about missing your grand-daughters first parade or their ballet recital.

Or how much fun you had last time you took your grandson to the Zoo

But back to my ticket, I still cant believe it.  Just 3 days ago I was the toast of Mississippi, passed my D.O.T inspection got a ‘Thank You and have a safe trip' from the officer. He should have added stay the hell out of Texas

We were picking up a load in Lubbock Texas (YEP, I thought you would guess Texas) it is potato chips going to Salt Lake City. The route they sent us was high altitude. Swift said they would send us a low altitude route. Have to stay under 6000 ft.

 When that arrived it was still High altitude so we contacted our manager again and she said she would look into it, but we could take off and she would get ahold of us before we got too high. (in altitude people, for cryin' out loud)

When she finally sent me the new, new route I looked at it and it said I should start on I27s but the first set of directions said I27n so I had to pull over and ask her if she wanted me to turn around and start all over.  She said no the road I’m on will connect with the road I want then all will be good.

I was cruising along in Texas, (somebody make me evil overlord so I can kick Texas out) 

            YES, I already explained in a previous post that there is always room in my administration for hard workers like  he obviously is.

And I saw the flashing lights on the sign that said all commercial trucks proceed to scale.  Normally the next sign you see is a big Green one with an arrow that says Scale.

                                                             see you cant miss it.

Well they didn’t have one. I looked over to my right and saw a building that said justice court?   Well of course, How convenient get a ticket, see the Judge and pay the fine all in one quick stop.  ~~But it wasnt a set up!! 
Less than half a mile later The Sheriff of Hale County Texas was pulling me over. He took my license and said follow me.  

                                             yea, just like Smokey and the Bandit

As I was following him I thought to myself, too bad the roads are so awful, I’d like to put on eye liner, shave my legs etc, I should have put on a different shirt.....where's that Victoria Secret Bra Will likes

Crap……….Crap……..Crap.

I was not the only one escorted back to the scales. While I was there another wayward driver also received a personal invitation to return to the scales. So I think it’s a set up.  That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.

When they pulled me into the inspection pit, the officer asked if I’d ever been through an inspection before and I said yes, mostly in California. He said ‘well we’re not that bad’ ‘That's funny Big Hoss, that’s what they say about Texas’. 
Scarred you uh? You thought I said that out loud, but I used my inside voice.

They did a complete inspection on the truck and trailer.  The truck passed with a warning our fire extinguisher was not secure, the clip came un-clipped. Big Whoop. The trailer got a warning that tires needed to be replaced and signed off on it 15 days. And I got a ticket for failure to comply with a traffic control device. 

 $200. The money hurts but how many points did this screw up just cost me on my license? I bet if I went in like I was supposed to the tires on the trailer would have passed. But since they didn’t I get deducted points for that too.

I told my DM   (not dungeon master, driver manager) that it was my first ticket ever. But I was quickly corrected by someone who loves me very much, or claims he does anyway. 

 “Not-aw, 10 years ago you got a ticket for running a yellow light” on main street with a cop already stopped in the lane next to mine. It didn’t seem right to slam on the brakes just to end up stopped in the intersection.  The ticket said I  ran a red light, when I told him it was yellow when I went through it he said red and yellow are treated the same. I said then why do we even have a yellow light why doesn’t it just go from green to red.  It was at that moment I realized that our local Officer Barney was born without a funny bone.

So that’s my M.O.  Ive got a record. With Priors for ignoring lights and signs.continuing to endanger the public with blatant disregard for laws.

I have to take this opportunity to apologize to everyone I have let down. 

Will asked if I wanted him to write down where all the scales are and I said that would be great, but better would be if he could route me around the scales, He said looks like i can do that by myself.

Maybe swift should cut their losses now, before I further disparage the title of truck driver.

Saying a prayer to Saint Johnny Paycheck, Patron saint of the willfully unemployed.

I admit I thought about what would happen if I didn’t pay. I would have to stop being a truck driver, *bummer. I would get a mini vacation, albeit in Texas.  But hey, 3 hots and a cot courtesy  of the grey bar inn. I could end up with another tattoo,(not that I got my first one in jail) but Will wont let me get another tramp stamp.

I asked Will if he would come visit me. First he said in TEXAS? Then he got this big smile and his eyes glazed over thinking about possible lesbian encounters, shower scenes, and congeal visits.

**note to self, buy more lottery tickets.

I love and miss you all so much.