Guess who got a ticket

Guess who got a ticket.????

No it wasn’t Will, it was Me…Me…..ME!!!!

 First off, I'd like to thank everyone for their daily novena's to St. Anthony helping me not get lost. Will is getting much more sleep now.  But your patience has been rewarded.  

I know, I can't believe it either.  Now I admit I could have been day dreaming, thinking about my high school having to get rid of its mascot because it is offensive to Indians. The Lebanon Warriors. 

As everyone knows, I like to think things out and take them to their obvious illogical conclusion.

 

Will we have to change names like   Milwaukee, which is Algonquian which in Native American  and means ‘a good place’.  Massachusetts, from the Massachusett tribe, which means ‘a great hill’.

What about The Rebels or The Pirate’s?  Do we really want our kids trying to live up to the values of a pirate.

I wonder how much it cost Lake Tahoe to keep the name Squaw Valley.  Did Los Angles get permission from God to be called the City of Angels?  Did Saint Francis give a nod of approval to San Francisco.  What about Hawaii State University, they are the Warriors. 

Or I could have been thinking about the new suggested law that says truck drivers can not use “hands free communication devices”.  Now I understand the reason behind not texting while you drive.  

 

 But the reason behind wanting to ban hands free is because law makers a saying you are still distracted while talking on your blue tooth.  Well then, they should also put a muzzle on all your passengers in case you are tempted to have a conversation. 

They should take away the radio so you're not tempted to sing. 

Don’t forget eating while driving. It takes one hand to eat so both your hands are not on the wheel, and don’t you always glance down to make sure you are aiming your cup towards the cup holder.  

Take out all the GPS’s I know you look at the screen to make sure you are taking the correct exit.
And Don't Think of what is going on at home.  Don't think about missing your grand-daughters first parade or their ballet recital.

Or how much fun you had last time you took your grandson to the Zoo

But back to my ticket.

 I still can't believe it.  Just 3 days ago I was the toast of Mississippi, passed my D.O.T inspection got a ‘Thank You and have a safe trip' from the officer. He should have added stay the hell out of Texas

We were picking up a load in Lubbock, it is potato chips going to Salt Lake City. The route they sent us was high altitude. Swift said they would send us a low altitude route. Have to stay under 6000 ft.

 When that arrived it was still high altitude so I contacted our manager again and she said she would look into it, but we could take off and she would get ahold of me before we got too high. (in altitude people, for cryin' out loud)

When she finally sent me the new, new route I looked at it and it said I should start on I27S but the first set of directions she sent said I27N (that's what I was on) so I had to pull over and ask her if she wanted me to turn around and start all over.  She said no the road I’m on will connect with the road I want then all will be good.

I was cruising along in Texas, (somebody make me evil overlord so I can kick Texas out) 

            YES, I already explained in a previous post that there is always room in my administration for hard workers.... like he obviously is.

And I saw the flashing lights on the sign that said  'all commercial trucks proceed to scale.'  Normally the next sign you see is a big Green one with an arrow that says Scale.

                                                             see you cant miss it.

Well they didn’t have one. As I passed the exit, I looked over to my right and saw a building that said Justice Court.   Well of course, How convenient, get a ticket, see the Judge and pay the fine all in one quick stop.  
Less than half a mile later The Sheriff of Hale County Texas was pulling me over. He took my license and said  'follow me ma'am.'

                                             Yep, just like Smokey and the Bandit

As I was following him I thought to myself, too bad the roads are so awful, I’d like to put on eye liner, shave my legs etc, I should have put on a different shirt.....where's that Victoria Secret Bra Will likes.

Crap……….Crap……..Crap.

I was not the only one escorted back to the scales. While I was there another wayward driver also received a personal invitation to return to the scales. So I think it’s a set up.  That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.

When they pulled me into the inspection pit, the officer asked if I’d ever been through a Level 1 Inspection before and I said yes, mostly in California. He said ‘Well we’re not that bad’ ‘That's funny Big Hoss, that’s what they say about Texas’. 
Scarred you uh? You thought I said that out loud, but I used my, newly found, inside voice.

They did a complete inspection on the truck and trailer. They ask me questions to decide if I am impaired in any way and personally legal and able to drive.  They checked my log books figuring the time line from here to there, making sure I could have arrived at this spot, at this time doing the speed limit.  The truck passed with a warning our fire extinguisher was not secure, the clip came un-clipped. Big Whoop. The trailer got a warning that tires needed to be replaced and signed off on it 15 days.(That's not my ticket that's the companies ticket) And I got a ticket for failure to comply with a traffic control device.  OUCH They directed me where to park and which door would lead me to the court room.

 $200. The money hurts but how many points did this screw up just cost me on my license? I bet if I went in like I was supposed to the tires on the trailer would have passed. But since they didn’t I get deducted points for that too.

I told my DM   (not dungeon master, driver manager) that it was my first ticket ever. But I was quickly corrected by someone who loves me very much, or claims he does anyway. 

 “Not-aw, 10 years ago you got a ticket for running a yellow light” on main street with a cop already stopped in the lane next to mine. It didn’t seem right to slam on the brakes just to end up stopped in the intersection.  The ticket said I  ran a red light, when I told him it was yellow when I went through it(you were sitting right there)  he said red and yellow are treated the same.   It was at that moment I realized that our local Officer Barney was born without a funny bone.

So that’s my M.O.  I've got a record. With Priors for ignoring lights and signs, continuing to endanger the public with blatant disregard for laws.

I have to take this opportunity to apologize to everyone I have let down. 

Will asked if I wanted him to write down where all the scales are?   I said that would be great, but better would be if he could route me around the scales. He said, looks like I can do that by myself.

Maybe Trucking should cut their losses now, before I further disparage the title of truck driver.

Currently saying a prayer to Saint Johnny Paycheck, Patron saint of the willfully unemployed.

I admit I thought about what would happen if I didn’t pay. I would have to stop being a truck driver, *bummer. 

I would get a mini vacation, albeit in Texas.  But hey, 3 hots and a cot courtesy  of the Grey Bar Inn. 

I could end up with another tattoo, (not that I got my first and only one in jail) but Will won't let me get another tramp stamp.

I asked Will if he would come visit me in jail, first he said in TEXAS? Then he got this big smile and his eyes glazed over, no doubt thinking about possible lesbian encounters, shower scenes, and congeal visits.

**note to self, buy more lottery tickets.

I love and miss you all so much.